yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Randomize