So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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