I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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