I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Randomize