This girl is more easily done than said...
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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