Texts From Last Night

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  (586): View more from Michigan

  Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom

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  (586): Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom http://tfl.nu/p7m9
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  My first STD was from a foam party

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  (202): My first STD was from a foam party http://tfl.nu/z9i4
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk

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  (612): How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk http://tfl.nu/wp9g
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  (626): View more from California

  and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.

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  (626): and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name. http://tfl.nu/n8x4
  Replies (13) Good night (2642) Bad night (602) Order T-Shirt
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad

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  (702): Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad http://tfl.nu/156q
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  (765): View more from Indiana

  You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged

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  (765): You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged http://tfl.nu/je5z
  Replies (8) Good night (960) Bad night (3451) Order T-Shirt
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.

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  (651): That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish. http://tfl.nu/pnvl
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.

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  (403): were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found. http://tfl.nu/pucp
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.

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  (404): Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it. http://tfl.nu/dkcw
  Replies (7) Good night (2453) Bad night (730)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.

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  (678): If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me. http://tfl.nu/3kcp
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.

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  (403): I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever. http://tfl.nu/fqiq
  Replies (6) Good night (2451) Bad night (883) Order T-Shirt
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park

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  (202): No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park http://tfl.nu/eb3c
  Replies (1) Good night (433) Bad night (547) Order T-Shirt
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.

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  (515): In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night. http://tfl.nu/3r48
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  (310): View more from California

  How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.

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  (310): How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks. http://tfl.nu/m7ju
  Replies (3) Good night (971) Bad night (215) Order T-Shirt
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men

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  (503): At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men http://tfl.nu/ey0x
  Replies (2) Good night (251) Bad night (137) Order T-Shirt

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