the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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