i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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