i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize