My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
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Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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