this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
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Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
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Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
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