His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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