Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize