you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize