She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
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