Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Pooping to opera.
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