I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
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