be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize