Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize