So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I need to stop coming to work sober
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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