I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
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