I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Randomize