I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize