You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
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