I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize