Hey man sorry I got all grabby
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
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