Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
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