So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
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I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
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My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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