She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
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He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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