put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
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