How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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