You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
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