I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize