Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
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