so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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