And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize