I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
As shirtless as possible
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
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