Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Randomize