im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize