I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize