Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize