so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
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We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
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You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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