I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
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Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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