Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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