I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
The power of my boobs compel you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize