it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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