I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
i love accidental penises.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize