I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
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I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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