sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Randomize