i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize